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CUSTOMS AND MANNERS |
Marraige Customs |
Marriage and morals generally go together.
Kerala has evolved through the ages its own marriage
customs and code of morals. Child marriage was
familiar in the early days. But now the adult
marriage is the normal rule. Widow marriage also
was permitted. The most popular form of marriage
seems to have been the Gandharva system which
facilitated the voluntary union of the male and
the female. The Aryanisation of Kerala brought
about some change in the institution of marriage
and code of morals. Child marriage took the place
of adult marriage. The life of the widows became
a hard one. There was a general decline in the
status of women as well as moral standards. New
customs relating to marriage gradually sprang
up. |
The institution of polygamy and
polyandry prevailed especially in the `Namboothiri',
`Kshatriya' and other higher castes.There was
an unusual practice connected with the institution
of marriage and this in `talikettu kalyanam'.
Tali (a mangalyasutram) tying was performed on
a girl or batch of girls between the ages 11 and
13. It was believed that with tali tying the girl
had become an eligible bride. The one who tied
the tali had no special claim to matrimony with
that girl. The tali was removed from the girls'
neck. The essential item in real marriage was
not tali tying but the presentation of cloth i.e,
'pudavakoda'. With the spread of education the
system of `talikettu kalyanam' came to an end.
Marriage alliances have been governed from very
early days by certain traditional restrictions.
It was the accepted custom to have marriages conducted
within the caste itself. Now-a-days inter-cast
and intercommunal marriages are mere frequently
reported, though it cannot be said that such marriages
are very common. There was, even now, the system
of marrying the murapennu, the boy's paternal
aunt's or maternal uncle's daughter. This system
prevailed among the Hindus and the Muslims. The
Christian community do not allow matrimonial relations
between relatives. |
The different communities and castes of Kerala
have developed over centuries, their own typical
marriage ceremonies. The Hindus belonging to all
castes generally compare the horoscope of the
boy with that of the girl and satisfy themselves
of their compatibility before the proposal for
the marriage is formally agreed to. A ceremony
called 'jatakam koda' (exchange of horoscopes)
or 'motiram maral' ( exchange of rings) is sometimes
conducted before the marriage is solemnized.Tali
tying and presentation of cloth i.e, pudavakoda
in South Kerala and pudamuri in North Kerala have
become an essential part of Hindu marriages. |
The Christians and Muslims have
their own characteristic marriage ceremonies.
The one thing is common they have with Hindu marriages
is the tali tying ceremony. The tali of the Christians
is a cord made out of 21 threads from the marriage
cloth or mantrakodi which is also presented to
the bride. |
Birth Ceremonies |
The people of Kerala belonging to
all castes and communities have ceremonies to
celebrate every important incident in their life
and many of them survive to this day. `Namakaranam'
is the naming ceremony preformed within a month
of the child's birth. Annaprasanam feeding of
rice - or chorunu takes place in the sixth month
of the child. Vidyarambham or initiation into
the letters of the alphabet is performed in the
third or fourth year of the child. `Upanayanam'
,an initiation ceremony is performed by all Brahmins
when the boy is invested with the holy thread. |
The Christians of Kerala have several
ceremonies which bear resemblance to those of
the Hindus. Corresponding to namakaranam ceremony
is the Baptism of the Christians. There are ceremonies
connected with chorunu. Ariyiliruthu corresponds
to the Vidyarambham of the Hindus. |
Among the Muslims when a child is
born a mullah is called and he lifts up the child
and recites in its ears the the call to prayer
( Vanku). The child is given pure gold diluted
in honey like a paste. (This practice is followed
by most of the Keralites.) The marka kalyanam
or sunnath kalyanam is performed in the twelfth
year when all Muslims are circumcised. |
Death Rituals |
Each community and caste has its own peculiar
ceremonies connected with death. Among the Hindus
when a person approaches his last moments the
64 junior members of the family assemble and pour
water or milk into his mouth. As soon as he breathes
his last, the body is removed from the cot to
the central courtyard. The body is washed and
marks of bhasma (holy ashes) and sandal paste
are applied on the forehead and the joints. In
certain parts of Kerala there is the custom of
sons and relatives putting rice mixed with flowers
into the mouth of the dead persons. This is called
'Vaykari'. At the cremation ground it is customary
that the eldest son sets fire to the dead body.
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Among the Christians when a person approaches
his last moments, he is laid on the bed facing
the east. As soon as the person dies, his toes
and thumbs are tied with a piece of cloth. A crucifix
is placed by the Catholics at the head of the
corpse between two lighted candles. The Parish
priest offers prayers in the house of the deceased
on behalf of the departed spirit. |
Among the Muslims when a person
dies the pillow on which his body rested is removed
and his old dress is changed. The corpse (mayyath)
is washed in warm water and laid on the floor
on the cot in mats covered with clean clothes.
Rose water is sprinkled over the place. The mullah
sits by the side of the corpse and recites the
Quran. The body is also washed a second time before
it is carried to the mosque where it is buried.
When it is placed in the grave it is placed in
such a way as to be on its right facing Mecca |
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